So my posts/pictures have been kinda few past few weeks, so much going on. Both in SL/RL. I apologize to those who I normally support, like, comment, but it has been hard for me to log on FB, read the drama, when […]
So my posts/pictures have been kinda few past few weeks, so much going on. Both in SL/RL. I apologize to those who I normally support, like, comment, but it has been hard for me to log on FB, read the drama, when I am fighting so much. So please don't take anything personal. I also had to drop a few sponsors that were hard to do, and didn't apply for some that I wanted to. I need to get my head in a good place again, and also work more on the quality of my pictures, and regain inspiration. This is allowing me to give better quality to those I currently have and adore, and will choose for those I really feel a good fit for... pictures has always been my escape, and something I absolutely love.
So here is my personal venting session, since I don't think any or at least many read these anyways, and sometimes writing, at least I have been told by someone in the past, is a good release.
Let me try to summarize all of it to best I can in the shortest way possible...
My own physical struggles... What I thought was just pain from my lupus, and I ignored for weeks, turned out to be Cervical Spinal Stenosis requiring surgery. Because my left arm which I am barely able to use now has been immobile for so long, I now have what is called a "Frozen Shoulder" which I had never heard of til now. Surgery for the cervical spinal stenosis is not risky, even though its on my spine, what IS risky, is the fact that I have to go off my blood thinners to have the surgery, and last time I did that, I almost died with blood clots, and PE's and sepsis.. exactly 2 years ago this week. So that is My struggles that I have been dealing with the last 2 weeks.
My mother... She had what we thought would be a simple back surgery. I asked them to please give her a shot of lovenox immediately following surgery, due to my blood clot history and knowing its due to a genetic factor, and not knowing which parent, since my dad passed a few years ago. When I asked for them to give her the lovenox, which is a preventive medication for clotting, they treated me like I was overreacting and crazy. While she was in recovery, she suffered a minor stroke. Our first setback, she started to recover, and was sent to a rehab. While in rehab, she started showing symptoms of a blood clot, my sister and I were begging for those tests, and they kept telling us it was just her nerves healing. I am OUTRAGED at this point. Not only am I a 2 time survivor (you can read one of my previous posts in March DVT Awareness month), but I Also work in the HealthCare industry, and a Patient Advocate, I KNOW MY SHIT! A couple nights later, I get that call... she is being rushed to the ER. I rush there and sure enough, Blood clots, and pe's in both lungs, and not sure if she will survive as she was having difficulty breathing. I can not express enough, every emotion at this point I am feeling, sorrow for what she is going through, being grateful its caught, and ANGER for her previous doctors and nurses. Every day now, is a new day, but things are on a day by day with her. I am absolutely exhausted, and doing the best I can. This week, is two weeks from my last episode, so the reminder of it all is flooding me, and I feel like a basket case
Thing is, when things go to shit, you realize who your true friends are, and who they aren't. So.. lets say those I considered friends, that list has gotten smaller, but those who I still consider friends, I hold even closer to my heart, and they know it.
Lingerie: Glitzz Noely Lingerie Nails: Ascendant Simple Geometry @ Shiny Shabby Necklace: :::NOIR::: Balthazar Necklace @ Belle Event Here is the color version to show more details of the nails:
Oh what a week... so badly I wish there was a little switch where we could turn off everything we have in our head, and just stop thinking of stuff. I so badly need to shut mine off. I have been dealing […]
Oh what a week... so badly I wish there was a little switch where we could turn off everything we have in our head, and just stop thinking of stuff. I so badly need to shut mine off. I have been dealing with some stuff that I thought would get better, and was working so hard for it to.. and had in the back of my mind something was really wrong. Finally I spoke up, had some tests, and wham, I was right. Now to gain the strength to deal with what's ahead. Music is always my best escape, normally I shut down and become a loner, I am gonna try so hard not to do that!
ANYWAYS... Glam Affair has once again made another beautiful skin for Lelutka, which is out now at Collabor88! Speaking of Lelutka, she is making updates to her heads and asking for feedback! So please, if you have any great ideas, please please send them in!
